Growing up, Sabrina’s chaotic and broken family dynamic drove her to become a serial runaway. “I just wanted freedom,” she recalls. She fell in with a crowd of girls who drank, took drugs — including ecstasy, ketamine, Subutex, and heroin — shoplifted, and started fights, one of which led to Sabrina's first arrest as a teenager.
Most of her 20s and 30s was spent in and out of the drug rehabilitation centre (DRC) and jail. In between her time in the DRC, Sabrina had two children who were handed over to relatives to be raised.
She gave birth to her third child while incarcerated in jail. “It was tough [raising a child in jail],” she remembers, “because a baby doesn't know what they’re missing, but as a mother, I know.”
After release, Sabrina resumed her drug habit and got pregnant again. Realising that her life had spiralled totally beyond her control, she surrendered herself to the Central Narcotics Bureau: “I felt like I was dying.”
This time, her baby was placed into foster care, and had to be treated for neonatal abstinence syndrome.
The impact of Sabrina's drug abuse on her children finally dawned on her, and she began committing herself fully to counselling and rehabilitation. Six months later, she was reunited with her children.
Although she has never reoffended, motherhood has not been without challenges. Several of Sabrina’s children have been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, which stems from neglect during early childhood development. The children have even displayed rebellious behaviours that mirror those of her own turbulent childhood.
Sabrina and her children attend regular counselling sessions “Because once you’ve taken drugs, there’s already a trigger for doing it the next time,” she says, mindful that any relapse will jeopardise the delicate balance she has established at home.
“That’s why I call myself a walking time bomb. Every time I take a step, I need to be very careful.”
For Sabrina, this empty photo frame / album represents countless missed opportunities to truly bond with her children – the consequence of her drug abuse. Her neglect and abandonment also left emotional and psychological scars on her children. Today, she is recovering and hopes to fill her children’s lives with new, joyous memories.